Carry on browsing without changing your settings if you agree to our use of cookies. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread… In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip! 1:22. Life Poems. I loved the poem, love Mabel! My God what had I done!? It turns out that the 'Ode to Fifty Shades of Grey' attributed to great British poet Pam Ayres earlier this year, and doing the rounds again on Facebook and Twitter again now, isn't her work at all! The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;My God what had I done! down Shepton Mallet way, You’d see just why I spluttered, The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag…. I loved the books…… But really like this poem. You aching sweetheart bent and crying for your young man, Go home. Saved by Joanna Hinson. I am a dominater !! An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. Oh! D. P. Davies Recommended for you. She says that she wrote them to be proclaimed out loud with gusto. She stood there nude and naked She struggled back upon her feet;A couple minutes later;She put her teeth back in and said"I am a dominator!!". Now some are fifty-six and some are twelve* You mothers on windswept platforms, crippled by the gash of fear, Go home. This is so funny that I just had to share [i apologise if it's been on here before]. Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. Hold it tenderly, remember it, safeguard and cherish it, For it must last a lifetime. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". 50 shades of grey - Pam Ayres. She stood there nude and nakedBent forward just a bitI went to hold her, sensual likeand stood on her left tit! Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. She put her teeth back in and said She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Watching Mabel bump and grind;Could not have been much grimmer.And things then went from bad to worse;She toppled off her Zimmer! Love pam Ayres and this poem had me laughing my head off. She toppled off her Zimmer! A couple minutes later; Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth, And spotted the dangers beneath All the toffees I chewed, And the sweet sticky food. The missus bought a Paperback,down Shepton Mallet way,I had a look inside her bag;...T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". An hour later she appeared; FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) By Pam Ayres (Not Really) By John Summers (For Real - Thanks John For Letting Me Know and For A Great Poem) I don’t get it, but it threw the imagination into overdrive. February 9, 2015 at 12:12 pm; 2 replies; TODO: Email modal placeholder. She needed somewhere to go, make a new start, and yet…, Ian Brady and Myra Hindley The Moors murders were carried out by Ian Brady and Myra Hindley between July 1963 and October 1965, in and…, Battling the Demons A Short Story by Tony Killinger “But the unclean spirit, when he is gone out of the man, passes through waterless places,…, The concept of a divinely anointed emissary primed to regenerate the world abounds in universal literature. More ideas for you ... Pam Ayres interview on BBC1 Breakfast News 11 October 2011) - Duration: 9:05. Featuring official poems, news, tour dates, books, DVDs and everything you ever wanted to know about Pam… About Pam Pam Ayres has been a writer, broadcaster, and entertainer for over 40 years, and is one of the few authors who has had books in the Sunday Times bestseller charts in … I had a look inside her bag; Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres. Apr 13, 2013 #1 The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, 56. Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; Well I just left her to it,And at ten I went to bed.An hour later she appeared;The sight filled me with dread. LOL…great post! Oh, I wish I’d looked after me… Read all poems of Pam Ayres and infos about Pam Ayres. by the way..i have read all the 50 shades books!! For the last complaint I’d uttered. Pam Ayres was born in 1947 in Berkshire and left Faringdon Secondary Modern School at the age of 15. . Life Poems Poems About Life Scottish Poems Wedding Ceremony Readings Funny Poems Alex Katz Pomes Talent Show Activity Ideas. And at ten I went to bed. Hysterical! - @Deesher - Lung cancer - 20150209 I went to hold her, sensual like FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) - By Pam Ayres. She moaned and groaned then shouted out: Hope no one's offended by this, also hope it gives you all a smile FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES The missus bought a Paperback, “Step on the other one!! But Mabel hasn’t weathered well; Watching Mabel bump and grind; Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; Well fifty years or so ago;I might have had a peek;But Mabel hasn't weathered well;She's eighty four next week!! She’s eighty four next week!! Well readers, I can tell no more;Of what occurred that day.Suffice to say my jet black hair,Turned fifty shades of grey!! You have shared a last embrace. Could not have been much grimmer. About Lockdown – by Pam Ayres I'm normally a social girl I love to meet my mates But lately with the virus here We can't go out the gates. 50 shades of grey - Pam Ayres. How funny is this! Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip! And in her right a whip! Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. This is very funny , I’ve read it before ,but still great fun to read . If you haven't read the book '50 Shades of Grey', you can still get a chuckle from this poem. The popular poet and performer Pam Ayres wrote a poem called ‘I Wish I’d Looked After Me Teeth!’ I remember it well. Deesher. A Policeman’s Lot 5…..Another Day, Another…. Thanks for sharing! The Hits 3pm Pick-Up with Laura McGoldrick, Stace, Mike & Anika: Three Moments You May have Missed. She struggled back upon her feet; In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! Fifty Shades of Grey by Pam Ayres: Donate to Marie Curie Cancer Care with Poems, Humour & Words from Poetic Expressions. What a story. If I make it to 84, then I hope to be just like her! Please note: It is no doubt Nmod, a fun read! Smartass!!! - Lung cancer. LOL . I’ll Remember Too – One last short story on the blog. … T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Thanks for the laugh. Bent forward just a bit We use cookies to help you get the best experience from our site and show you more relevant products. And then began to strip. Although it was originally published attributing Pam Ayres as the author, it turns out she did not write it. and stood on her left tit! Well I just left her to it, And at 10 I went to bed. And things then went from bad to worse; All up and down the country, Before the light was snuffed, Turkeys they get murdered, And cockerels they got stuffed, Christmas cakes got marzipanned, And puddin's they got steamed Mothers they got desperate And tired kiddies screamed. I find my opinion on the trilogy doesnt match most other readers. The sight filled me with dread… , hahaha polly loved pam ayres, that was so funny xx, LOL PollPie. In her left hand she held a rope;And in her right a whip!She threw them down upon the floor,And then began to strip. The Sibylline Books is a collection of Greek literatures…, I’ll Remember Too A Short Story by Tony Killinger I wonder now, looking back over the valley of so many years, if I thought there…, Love Pam Ayres – she is one of a kind. Letting Go, Beginning Again by Helen Sophie Whelan Amelia Daxton had enough of life. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. Here are the top poems … Poem 50 Shades of Grey - Duration: 1:22. sudaro2900 862 views. I have read all 3 twice. T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”. By Pam Ayres of course.. Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. WOW!!!! You see, we are the 'oldies' now We need to stay inside If they haven't seen us for a while They'll think we've upped and died. 'Twas Fifty Shades Of Grey. She moaned and groaned then shouted out:"Step on the other one!!". Humor for today, this is hysterical, Pam Ayres 50 Shades of Grey Poem. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – (a husband’s point of view) – By Pam Ayres of course.. 5 best Pam Ayres poems Pam Ayres is a poet of the people, her humorous, clever, true-to-life observations has struck a chord and warmed our hearts since the Seventies. She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. The missus bought a Paperback, Well fifty years or so ago; Suffice to say my jet black hair, She took to twitterto let everyone know, “[I] DID NOT write this poem. Pomes Remembrance Day Washington Dc Of My Life Meant To Be Poetry Military Peace ... 'Seagull' is featured in the brand new collection, You Made Me Late Again by Pam Ayres. She threw them down upon the floor, Of course not! Well readers, I can tell no more; Funny Poems Fifty Shades Of Grey 50 Shades Haha Funny Funny Stuff Love Poems Funny Stories Poetry Quotes In My Feelings. I might have had a peek; Supporter. Well I just left her to it, She threw them down upon the floor, Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out; In her left she held a rope; Thread starter I. Farticus; Start date Apr 13, 2013; I. Farticus Well-Known Member. T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Of what occurred that day. Hundredweight's of Christmas cards, Went flying through the post, With first class postage stamps on those, You had to flatter most. This is my favorite trilogy story. , Wow shadow, now we know where you get your sense of humour from. Now if you knew our Mabel, She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Saved by Rebecca Hoyle. In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES. , Polly , Enjoyed reading this and it made me laugh, as I haven’t read the book Fifty Shades of Gray. Please allow a few minutes for this process to complete. So pleased you all liked it. aries posted an update in the group QUOTES & THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY 2 minutes ago, aries posted an update in the group Music Alphabet Game 58 minutes ago, goldengirl1224 posted an update in the group PHOTO GROUP 1 hour, 22 minutes ago, Contains spam, fake content or potential malware, Battling the Demons – A Short Story of the Devil and his Deeds. In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip! Thanks for posting – I really enjoyed it….xxxxx. Please confirm you want to block this member. The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag; … T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”. If you have read the book or all three ( I’ve only read the first one ) you will find this poem hilarious ! Pam Ayres poems, quotations and biography on Pam Ayres poet page. 31. I’d spent two months in traction Turned fifty shades of grey. lol, Rose, Pam Ayers is such a talented lady, and she has a very strong West Country accent which makes her reading even more enjoyable. This action will also remove this member from your connections and send a report to the site admin. Pam Ayers is one of a kind and can hear her reading this out loud. Now if you knew our Mabel,You'd see just why I spluttered,I'd spent two months in tractionFor the last complaint I'd uttered. Rather it's apparently from the pen of one John Summers. . T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Humor for today, this is hysterical, Pam Ayres 50 Shades of Grey Poem. Pam Ayres is celebrated in the UK (and far beyond) as a favourite radio, TV and stage entertainer; it is impossible to read her comic poems without hearing her voice in your head.